Solved.

I've been engaged into quarrels with my boyfriend recently.
And the recent conflict btw us seems endless, which affects my emotional level very badly and my mood to study during my exam periods.

What I learnt in OB : Conflict is a process that begins when one party perceives the other part as negatively affecting something that the first party cares about.
* I shld master this topic.

We collaborate everything for more an hour, and I realised that I've been a bad girlfriend all along. If making big sacrifices can make the difference, I'm willing to take. And I've taken it.

Recently, I was feeling very moody, so had supper @ mcd's with martin and met up with laiman after supper. But glovor was worried becuz I came out at a late timing, 12am. He went to find me, calling and leaving me sms. But ME, neither did I reply nor pick up. Becuz, I just feel like being 'alone'. He found me at mcd's and sms me from behind. Yet I still lied to him. Reason is: I dont want him to get the wrong message.
Thats how the quarrel begin, and its a very big quarrel.

Secondly, I did not put himself in his shoes and behave what I like. Example: The post about MCP a week ago. I admit it was my fault and I was just venting out my anger. With my stupidest side, I myself didnt think what he feels. He got hurt deeply by this. I've taken away the post.
Sorry.


Thirdly: I myself, talking my problems to guys then girls yet he only talk to his buddies. My intention was to request for suggestions and what they think. Maybe I did not put myself in his shoes.
And definitely will think other another way.

Fourthly, because im flying off to bangkok in two days time. Informed him about the holiday when I already in the midst of deciding to go. He wanted me to stay in sg, becuz thailand is a very dangerous country. Sadly I did not listen and bought the ticket. For a girl like me, who will resist the 'shopping heaven' that is floating right there. To add on, Im going with only one person, sylvia. Luckily she had a thai friend who is gonna bring us around bkk.
Know its my fault for not listening to him, for going that place at this timing, I just found out after I bought ticket too.



More to go on........... As you can see, im really a bad gf.

So he lost trust in me and we almost broke up. Trust as in, 0% .


Hard to cope through this 5 days.
1)Im having my exams on that few days.
2) something just disturbed me at midnight,
3)yet my parents quarrelled the next midnight after I quarrelled with bf.
What da fuck right. I lost my control and my emotional level was very low. Fickle-minded at that time. The story is very long, and its hard to explain to other people. So I kept quiet at times and continued to stay strong. But really grateful to have sis & laiman to be by my side.


Maybe I deserve this..
Promised him all those criterias and I thats the way I have to do to prove to gain back his trust in me. Im willing to take on is becuz I want this r/s to go on.
I only can say that its going to take very long.
Maybe he forgives, but I do know forgetting is definitely a hard request.


Thereby, I hope he will forgive me and Im truly sorry.

Labels: I've learnt.

9:35 AM ·

Stressed

exams are over..





Well, wont be using MSN unless future might think of using again. Will be leading a private life. But this page will still go on and so is my twitter !
If there's anything u need to contact me : Handphone!

12:03 AM ·